M2-The 100 years war and the attempted rescue of Joan of Ark

     "ATTACK!!!!!" I yell, leading a squadron of my soldiers into battle. We are in disguise as heavy armor French knights in the defense of the city Compiegne. The enemy? A formidable army of light armor English and Burgundian archers and infantry. As you know, under the Camouflage, we have highly advanced armor. Because of that, we are basically invincible. Because of that, we have been chosen as Joan of Arc's indispensable personal bodyguard. This is a great honor, since Joan of Arc is a very distinguished general in human history. I must say, she would be a good addition to the Borderlands force. I make a mental note to try to take her back unnoticed if we can.
    Anyway, there we were, fighting off the enemy and keeping them out of the city. We were doing great, but the rest of the French are being creamed. Finally, Joan ordered a retreat and off we went. The army is going first and are marching toward the nearby fortifications of the city itself. Joan and us are going last, and I'm nervous that we will get captured. Well, at least we don't have the Bubonic Plague!! I think optimistically until my thoughts are interrupted.
"HALT!!!!" Yells some random guy on the road. Looks like a English soldier!! Oh great, I think.
"Move or die!" I say through clenched teeth. The soldier seems to shiver, but still stands firm. Okay, I think, he made his choice. I start to run toward him and level my spear.
"AAAAHH!!!" I yell as a crossbowman leaps out of the grass and shoots me in the one part of my body that isn't encased in heavy armor. My neck.
"AAAAH-gurrrgle!" I scream as the warm blood pours out of my neck and mouth. I see is the rest of the squad running over to me and more English soldiers pouring out onto the road, then everything went black.
     I wake up in a dark, cold room. I'm lying on a bed of yellow hay and my foot is encased in a long, black chain. Surrounding me are three of my squad. I look around a bit before I speak and in the opposite corner lies Joan and the other three of my squad.
"Holy crud," I say in a weak voice. "What happened??"
"English loaded us on carts and took us back to the fortress of Beaurevoir." Says one of the SFSTs. Great. Just great. Our ship is now miles away. I silently pray that our tracking beacon is still transmitting.
"Oh, and they took the necklaces where we hid the tracking beacon.#@&%$!!!!!! I think to myself. Now the crew might pick up some random guy. @#$%&, @#%#%#, @$%#$%@#, #@%#@##$, I think over and over again. Reciting every colorful word that is available to me.
"Well, how are we going to get out?"
"Shut up guys! I need to think."
"BUT WE'RE STUCK IN A @#%$& DUNGEON!!"
"I #%$&@ KNOW THAT!!! I NEED TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET #$%$#@ OUT OF IT!!!!!"
"Oh." I have officially won the standoff, although the guards are chuckling to themselves outside and everyone inside is staring at us with a quizzically terrified look. I ignore them and start sketching random cannon designs on the wall with my pocket disk communicator. Wait a minute, I think, my pocket communicator! DUH!! I slap myself on the head. How could I have been so stupid?? I can just call the Destroyer now!!! I start punching the buttons that will connect me to the command consol of the Destroyer's pilot bridge. Sometimes I even surprise myself.
     An hour later, a laser forms right in front of me and starts to slide over. I frantically scoot backwards, knowing that if the laser touches me, I will be cut to ribbons. I feel the cold hard stone wall behind me and know that I am cornered. But just as the laser is about to plow through my boot, it turns sharply and starts cutting a square. I know that the rescue crew has arrived and motion for everyone to huddle in the corner. Minutes later, a platform lowers down in front of us and we all climb on. It raises and I notice that Joan is grasping on to the cable behind me.
"Take your hands of the cable or they will be smashed in the gears when we get up." I say to her. She slowly lets go of the cable and closes her eyes tightly.
     Once aboard, we all step into the clone machines and are cloned right then and there. After this, some of my men take Joan to the briefing room to explain and give her a tour. I take wipe the clones memory clean and implant a chip that will make them think they are in the French army. We lower them into the dungeon and seal the hole with identical stones. Well, another time travel sort of successful!!
     Joan of Arc went to become one of the most distinguished Borderlands leaders. Her clone was burnt at the stake by the English for being a witch (whatttttt??), and our clones were beheaded (thank god we got out).